Harry Potter and the Highly Excitable Demon
by Hallenee
Summary: Random pointless nonsense that I wrote whilst under the influence of caffeine. May continue but then again may not. Lily Potter and Sirius Black come back courtesy of Harry's twin sister.


Disclaimer: I am not making any money out of this. Please don't sue me.

Harry heard a scream and awoke with a start. It was still dark and the only light was from moonlight coming in throught the windows. Harry heard another scream come from downstairs. One that sounded like Dudley. Harry got out his wand and carefully made his way down the stairs to see if Death Eaters could be in the kitchen and how they could have got through the wards without Dumbledore being informed. When he got to the kitchen though, the door was wide open and there were no Death Eaters. Instead there was Aunt Petunia looking very angry and a quivering Vernon. Dudley's body was on the ground between them. Petunia seemed too involved to notice harry so he hid in the shadows.

Petunia was saying something in a murderous voice to Vernon. "Didn't know I was a witch did you? You thought I was a Muggle like you didn't you? All the time you were going on about freakiness. You were the freaks. Harry and I are not pathetic losers like you Muggles were. I don't know why I married you and adopted him. The only thing that is has brought me was nausea. Well no more Vernon. Avada Kedavra!" Vernon's body dropped to the ground dead. Harry gasped a bit too loudly and alerted Petunia to him.  
"Harry come here. I won't hurt you. I want you to read something for me," Petunia handed Harry a copy of the Daily Prophet and then started carving symbols on Vernon's and Dudley's face with an ornate knife. Harry turned her attention away from her and to the paper. What he saw shocked him.

_**GRAVE ROBBER TAKES BODIES OF SIRIUS BLACK AND LILY POTTER** _

_Ministry expect it to be work of Necromancer and Hit Witch Isadora Riddle._

There was a picture there of a young girl with medium length black hair who looked like a cross between Severus Snape, Tom Riddle and Lily Potter. Harry did not have time to read the rest of the paper before two bodies apparated in. They lowered their hoods and Harry saw two young women. One of them looked like his mother. The other was like Isadora Riddle.

"Ready Petunia?" the Lily look alike asked.  
"Yes. Harry needs to pack his stuff though," Petunia replied. Then both women turned their attention to him.  
"Don't read the crap in the Prophet Harry. I'm not evil. Well not compared to Father. I'm Isadora Riddle or Izzy or 'bane of my existance' if you talk to Papa," the younger girl said holding out her hand to him.  
"Nice to see that my protection spell worked on you Harry. Give your brother a hand packing Izzy whilst I help your aunt in here," Lily look alike said.

"Your my sister? How? Your Voldemort's daughter. How old are you?" Harry asked when they were up in his room.  
"I'm your twin sister. Mum was raped by Voldemort. She had us and lied to James Potter about having twins. He thought there was just you and so he adopted you. Dad and Papa brought me up instead. They would have brought up you except Dumbledore already made your Aunt agree to the spell. He didn't even know she was a witch," Isadora rambled on.  
"So where are we going then?" Harry asked packing the last of his stuff.  
"The House of Black, Hit Wizard training centre and Headquarters of The Order of the Pheonix. Whatever you choose to call it," she shrugged and picked up Harry's trunk before grabbing his hand.

They arrived in the kitchen of house. All the order was there minus Kingsley. Isadora sat down on Severus' lap and Sirius enveloped Harry into a bonebreaking hug which was returned at the same ferocitybefore sitting at the table. Molly served up some soup which was hungrily eaten by all. When they had finished Harry started questioning people.

"What are you doing here? And Mum? Your dead," Harry exclaimed.  
"My darling Goddaughter who will not be getting any money out of me 'Hmpf' as she already got the house...killed a necromancer. And used his powers to bring me and Lily back," Sirius replied "Still think you're cruel," Izzy humphed.  
"Don't worry I still love you dear," Snape said.  
"Is that meant to be reassuring?" Izzy asked him.  
"I fed you, clothed you and raised you and this is how you repay me?" Snape said sighing melodramatically.  
"You mean tortured, experimented on and made me need to see a shrink for the rest of my life?" Isadora asked sweetly.

"So sue me," Snape replied glaring at her.  
"That would be hard she's a wanted criminal," Tonks said.  
"Tell me again why I can't kill Fudge?" Izzy addressed to the room at large.  
"Apart from the fact that it would be morally wrong?" Mrs. Weasley asked.  
"You let me kill every other Tom, Dick and Harry," Izzy countered.  
"You haven't killed Tom or Harry. I don't know about Dick. I don't any," Sirius said.  
"Sure you don't," Izzy said in an all knowing way.  
"You can tell Lily's back can't you?" Remus asked Severus and Sirius.  
"Yeah like you hadn't corrupted my daughter already," Lily scoffed.

"Can we go now or do we have to discuss boring things like Death Eater attacks?" Fred asked.  
"Death Eater attacks are important. Boring admittedly because they just don't know how to kill anything properly but they are important," Severus tutted.  
"Severus how many times have I asked you and Izzy to keep your sadist and psycopathic urges loacked away until you are with your victims?" McGonagall deadpanned.  
"But it is just so fun winding you up Grandma," Izzy replied.

"No there is nothing else to discuss except perhaps if Isadora has anything?" Dumbledore clarified.  
"Yep it is my turn. All listen to the wonderful me as I am wonder- 'snort'. I heard that. I have decided that as this is now my house I am going to start training Hit Wizards and Witchs here. I propose that Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Harry and Draco are all taught. 'Draco! As in Draco Malfoy?' Yes Draco Malfoy. He has a lot of potential. So I have devised a plan. All of them are in pairs and one three. So Harry, Hermione and George are together. Ron and Ginny, Fred and Draco. Papa you can teach potions. Mum you teach transfiguration, Pea can teach attacks and I will teach defense. The rest we can do together. Any problems? Good I'm going to work now. See you later," Izzy said and she had apparated away upstairs. Moments later she reappeared wearing, well not much at all.

"You're not going out like that!" Molly, Severus, Moody, Remus, McGonagall and Sirius chorised.  
"Dont' kill anyone if they feel you up," was Lilly's helpful comment.  
"I won't kill them but I won't garantee they won't die. Harry do you want to come with me"  
"Sure"  
"Imagine your magic flowing out of you and into me," Izzy said as she hugged him and before Harry knew what was happening they had arrived in a very noisey and steamy club.

* * *

This is the first time I've posted a fic in over two years. This was written almost 4 years ago so isn't as good as some of my later stuff. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this or not. If I do decide to then I'll edit it slightly. Positive reviews are welcome. Flames take up space in cyber space that could be used for much better things... 


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